I'm Glad My Mom Died

 By Jennette McCurdy

Simon and Schuster     2022

310 Pages     Memoir

As a disclaimer, I didn’t think I knew who Jennette McCurdy was when I received this book from the publisher, but when I explored a bit more, I realized that my granddaughters had watched I, Carly and Sam and Cat when they were middle schoolers. I was intrigued when the book hit the top of the best seller lists—much better than most celebrity memoirs, and knew I would have to read it. Besides that, a title like “I’m Glad My Mom Died” made the book a must read!

Jennette McCurdy was just a cute little kid with a mom and dad and two brothers, when her mother decided that Jennette should be an actress. The book then details her rise from a few early commercials and vignettes to her being cast in I Carly beside Miranda Cosgrove and then as the lead beside Arianna Grande in Sam and Cat. The sitcoms aired from 2007 to 2014, and Jennette mentions several times that she has remained a close friend of Miranda Cosgrove, who helped her mature and heal.

More than an exploration of her television career, I’m Glad My Mom Died details the mental and physical abuse Jennette experienced at the hand of her mother. Most significantly, the reader learns that the relationship was both good and bad. Jennette loved her mother and sought to please her, no matter what her mother asks her to do. Hair, makeup, clothes, bathing, and eating were all outside Jennette’s realm. Her mother continued to be  “in charge” of Jennette’s showering until she was 17.

Her mother had a bout of breast cancer when Jeanette was very young, and she died when Jennette was 21. Because of that, Jennette spent much of her life worrying about her mother’s possible imminent death, and she did everything she could to keep anxiety away from her mother so that she wouldn’t die. Jennette says, “My life purpose has always been to make Mom happy, to be who she wants me to be. So without Mom, who am I supposed to be? “

As the memoir develops, the reader becomes increasingly concerned about Jennette’s mental and physical health. Significantly, her mother teaches her how to restrict her eating so that she will not grow “the boobies” that will move her away from the young girl roles for which she is becoming famous. Consequently calorie restriction then becomes anorexia, binge eating, and finally, bulimia. This part of the book made particular sense to me as the daughter and granddaughter of women who worried incessantly about my weight.

The reader breathes a sigh of relief when we learn how Jennette has become stronger and much more able to cope with life. We also learn that she is not acting much, but has just signed a contract for two more books and is podcasting and being interviewed about I’m Glad My Mom Died.

One of the best reviews of the book appeared in The Atlantic in August. The reviewer says: “ McCurdy takes her time to remember difficult and complex moments of her life, staying true to her younger self while ultimately trying to come to terms with who she is as an independent adult. It’s a triumph of the confessional genre.”

There is also a very complete biography of Jennette McCurdy on Wikipedia. It is worth reading, either before or after reading the book. Puts a lot into perspective.