Get Married This Year: 365 Days to "I Do"

By Janet Blair Page PhD

Boston, Avon Media, 2011

265 pages  Non-Fiction

The Shortlist

Your To-Do List This Year:

Today: Get to know yourself.
Next Month: Figure out what you really want from your man.
Month 3: Learn how to get out of your own way.
Month 6: Take the field and find the right guy.
Month 10: Make the big decision.
Month 12: Get Married!   

Dr. Janet Page teaches a popular class at Emory University in Atlanta on dating and marriage. She is a well-known relationship expert. This book is a distillation of her classes and lectures and is a book clearly aimed at women. She says at the outset of Get Married This Year that she can teach you “everything you need to know to become happy with yourself, to get your life ready for a lasting relationship, and to find, court, and keep a man. You’ll learn how to meet eligible, commitment worthy people who are both desirable and available, and you’ll work to define what eligible and commitment worthy actually mean to you. You’ll also understand how to market yourself, become a smart ‘shopper,’ develop your action plan, and feel confident that you’ll stay with your partner for the long run.”

This is a tall order, but one that Dr. Page has been doing for many years. She says that the goal of the book is not to simply get “married off” but to marry well. Through stories, worksheets, and pithy little “love notes,” she lays out a plan of self-improvement, careful choices and brave decision making that will lead to a worthy relationship.

I really liked what she had to say about choosing the perfect man. She advises women to look way beyond the outside veneer of available men and into their hearts, souls, and character. Sometimes a man who looks good on the outside is no-good on the inside. Your best match may not be the “cutest.” I have been watching with interest a young couple who are in my Tai Chi class. One evening, they walked into class and announced that they had just gotten married that day. Would I ever have matched them by looks alone? Not by a long shot. She is very attractive; tall and thin. He is overweight, and rather Midwest dumpy looking. But they are so happy together. A perfect match!

Today’s Wall Street Journal had an article about a new breed of matchmaker for men and women who are having trouble finding mates. Called “wingmen” or “wingwomen,” these cupids-for-hire go to parties and gatherings with less-confident and shy men and women, helping to ease them into conversations and making introductions. 

Dr. Page’s sound and practical advice will go a long way to help those women who are ready to marry get prepared to meet the man who will be just right for them. This could be the year!

Dr. Page’s website:  http://drjanetpage.com/

Full-Filled

By Reneé Stephens and Samantha Rose

New York, Free Press, 2011

298 pages   Non-Fiction

The Shortlist

When I received Full-Filled from the publisher, I began paging through the book looking for the menus and eating plans so common in most weight loss books. Much to my surprise, there were none. This is a weight loss book unlike the plethora of diet books that come out about this time every year. 

Full-Filled is a holistic approach to getting control of weight, cravings, and the bad eating habits that keep most people from finding and maintaining their ideal weight. Stephens combines meditation, journaling, counseling, and peer groups to help the reader—who has picked this book up with purpose—lose weight and gain control over their bodies and their self-image. 

I found it easy to read. The advice was solid. The techniques were useful. Stephens advises the reader/dieter to stop beating themselves up over past failures or momentary lapses. She suggests that the reader find a partner to work through the chapters, the journaling, the exercising, and the dieting with—someone who will help the reader be accountable. She even offers an online support group to aid the dieter in achieving his/her goals.

According to Stephens, much of the dieter’s dilemma has to do with self-image, and the intent of Full-Filled is to assure the reader that food is only part of the problem and only part of the solution. Mindfulness, stress-relief, and emotional support all will help the reader change their relationship to the food he/she eats.  

Renee Stephens is a renowned behavioral weight loss expert. She knows what she is talking about having had a difficult relationship with food in her life. She has many online and ITunes podcasts which she uses to connect with the people who are following her plan, which she calls a "weight release plan." I like that thought.

Last year I read Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth. I would suggest that it would be a supportive book in combination with Full-Filled. Both will help people change the way they look at food and the way they look at themselves.

An Article about Renee Stephens: http://personallifemedia.com/hosts/208-renee-stephens

The Best of 2011

According to the Cyberlibrarian, that is!

I had an amazing year of reading in 2011 capped off by the gift of a Kindle, just so I can have several more books going at one time. (Oops, I just heard on the radio that “amazing” is the most overused word of 2011, so let me change my first sentence.) I had an enlightening year of reading in 2011. In all, I read 78 books including 17 memoirs, 13 non-fiction books, 11 religious or spiritual books, 31 fiction books, 1 book of short stories, and 3 books of humor. Here are my favorites.

Fiction

1)      Little Bee by Chris Cleave

2)      Once Upon a River by Bonnie Jo Campbell

3)      Long Shining Water by Danielle Sosin

4)      An Atlas of Impossible Longing by Anuradha Roy

5)      One Good Turn by Kate Atkinson

Nonfiction

1)      The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

2)      In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson

3)      Our America by LeAlan Jones and Lloyd Newman

4)      Zeitoun by Dave Eggars

5)      A Thousand Lives by Julia Scheeres

Religious/Spiritual

1)      A Hidden Wholeness by Parker Palmer

2)      Longing for Enough in a Culture of More by Paul Escamilla

3)      In the Land of Believers by Gina Welch

4)      Fall to Grace by Jay Bakker

Memoir/Biography

1)      Just Kids by Patti Smith

2)      Strength in What Remains by Tracy Kidder

3)      Day of Honey by Annia Ciezadlo

4)      Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson

5)      Little Princes by Conor Grennan

Most Popular Blog Postings

1)      Zeitoun by Dave Eggars

2)      Strength in What Remains by Tracy Kidder

3)      Carrots N’Cake by Tina Haupert

4)      Fall to Grace by Jay Bakker

5)      The Long Shining Water by Danielle Sosin

The Last Testament: A Memoir by God

With David Javerbaum

New York, Simon & Schuster, 2011

365 pages     Humor

Aziz, our Muslim Saudi student renter, looked at The Last Testament sitting on the kitchen table, pointed at the picture on the cover and asked, “What is this?” What was I to say? “Ah," I said, “it’s a humorous book by someone pretending to be God.” He took another look and turned away. I don’t think I scored very many points with Aziz that day.

David Javerbaum, who has taken irreverent looks at lots of things, first as a writer for Jon Stewart and lately as a songwriter and author, has really done it this time…The Last Testament is the ultimate irreverence. This is not a book for the faint-of-heart or the fundamentally religious, nor is a book for people who know nothing about the Bible or religion in general. It is very funny, but there are some passages in which you say, “OMG, I can’t believe I just read that!”

The book itself looks like a Bible, with books, and chapters and verses. There is an Old Testament and a life of Jesus--Jesus being “the classic middle son” with an older brother Zach, called H.G. or Holy Ghost for short, and a younger sister, Kathy. You will find chapters about God’s favorite things, a chapter of “Godlibs,” a chapter of recipes, including one for Junior’s Fishwish Miracle, in which the ingredients are five loaves and two fishes.

My favorite book is called “Pleader” in which God discusses his views on prayer and the answering of prayer. God says that children should not be praying “And if I die before I wake, I pray thee, Lord my soul to take.” He continues “Even I consider it bizarre, that the last words on children’s lips before they go to sleep would address the prospect of their own premature death. They are children. They should be asking me for ponies.”
 

Everything religious gets skewered—Jews, Muslims, Scientologists, Hindus and particularly Buddhists. Some verses are laugh-out-loud funny; some are pretty dumb; and some are so obscure that the reader (at least the readers in our household) has no idea what’s going on. On the whole, the book is erudite and sophisticated, although occasionally it tends toward the crass.

My husband and I read it aloud together every morning over the past couple of months; it was great to have a good laugh every morning.We remarked several times about how knowledgeable the author is about scripture and religion (Javerbaum, not God). Anyone who can so skillfully satirize God must know a lot about our religious idiosyncrasies.

A review of The Last Testament in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/28/books/the-last-testament-a-memoir-by-god-review.html

 An interview with David Javerbaum:

 http://clatl.com/culturesurfing/archives/2011/11/11/holy-ghost-writer-david-javerbaum-works-on-gods-memoir