Welcome to my blog. I am Miriam Downey, the Cyberlibrarian. I am a retired librarian and a lifelong reader. I read and review books in four major genres: fiction, non-fiction, memoir and spiritual. My goal is to relate what I read to my life experience. I read books culled from reviews in The New York Times, The New York Review of Books, Bookmarks, and The New Yorker. I also accept books from authors and publicists. I am having a great time.
Hope you will join me on the journey.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Get Married This Year: 365 Days to "I Do"
By Janet Blair Page PhD
Boston, Avon Media, 2011
Your To-Do List This Year:
Today: Get to know yourself.
Next Month: Figure out what you really want from your man. Month 3: Learn how to get out of your own way.
Month 6: Take the field and find the right guy.
Month 10: Make the big decision.
Month 12: Get Married!
Dr. Janet Page teaches a popular class at Emory University in Atlanta on dating and marriage. She is a well-known relationship expert. This book is a distillation of her classes and lectures and is a book clearly aimed at women. She says at the outset of Get Married This Year that she can teach you “everything you need to know to become happy with yourself, to get your life ready for a lasting relationship, and to find, court, and keep a man. You’ll learn how to meet eligible, commitment worthy people who are both desirable and available, and you’ll work to define what eligible and commitment worthy actually mean to you. You’ll also understand how to market yourself, become a smart ‘shopper,’ develop your action plan, and feel confident that you’ll stay with your partner for the long run.”
This is a tall order, but one that Dr. Page has been doing for many years. She says that the goal of the book is not to simply get “married off” but to marry well. Through stories, worksheets, and pithy little “love notes,” she lays out a plan of self-improvement, careful choices and brave decision making that will lead to a worthy relationship.
I really liked what she had to say about choosing the perfect man. She advises women to look way beyond the outside veneer of available men and into their hearts, souls, and character. Sometimes a man who looks good on the outside is no-good on the inside. Your best match may not be the “cutest.” I have been watching with interest a young couple who are in my Tai Chi class. One evening, they walked into class and announced that they had just gotten married that day. Would I ever have matched them by looks alone? Not by a long shot. She is very attractive; tall and thin. He is overweight, and rather Midwest dumpy looking. But they are so happy together. A perfect match!
Today’s Wall Street Journal had an article about a new breed of matchmaker for men and women who are having trouble finding mates. Called “wingmen” or “wingwomen,” these cupids-for-hire go to parties and gatherings with less-confident and shy men and women, helping to ease them into conversations and making introductions.
Dr. Page’s sound and practical advice will go a long way to help those women who are ready to marry get prepared to meet the man who will be just right for them. This could be the year!