By Julia Samuel
Scribner 2017
261 pages Spiritual
The Shortlist
Grief Works by Julia Samuel is a profound look at the process of grief. Samuel
is a grief counselor, and the help she offers comes from the stories of the
grieving people she has met. Her approach is to listen and offer guidance only
when necessary. In explaining grief, she makes a provocative statement that has
stayed with me. “The process is in the movement—the back and forth—between the
loss and restoration. Sadness, tears, yearning, and preoccupation with the
person who has died alternate with present-day tasks, functioning, having hope
for the future, and having a break from the grief.”
Samuel tells stories and imparts the knowledge she has
gained in dealing with grief in several categories: when a partner dies; when a
parent dies; when a sibling dies; when a child dies; and when we face our own
death. The conclusion of the book talks about how we can help those who are
grieving around us.
This book came to me at an appropriate time. In the last
month, we have lost two people close to us—a dear and long-term friend, and the
grandfather to several of our grandchildren. One loss was abrupt and
unexpected, while the other was prolonged and anticipated. Then today, a notice came that the
husband of a friend was killed in an automobile accident. It reminded me that
death is always with us, and we need to be always ready to practice empathy
with those who are suffering.
Because of my age, I suppose, I read with interest the stories
about facing your own death. They were helpful and enlightening. I recommend this
book to anyone, because neither we, nor the people around us, can escape death. Reading Grief Works can serve as a reminder that grief and love go hand
in hand.
Julia Samuel is a British grief counselor, and a good friend
of Princess Diana and the royal family. Grief Works was published in Britain last
year and is now available in the US.
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