by Carol Orsborn
Turner Publishing, 2013
244 pages
Spiritual
Sometimes a book comes along at just the right time. That's
the case with Fierce with Age by Dr. Carol Osborn. I have been having a few hard
months. First, I turned 70; then I was working way to hard; then a dear friend
died quickly and abruptly. Then I read Orsborn's memoir of a hard year she had after she
turned sixty, and I found sustenance and the will to move beyond the
restlessness that has been plaguing my days and nights. Orsborn is an expert on the "baby boomer" generation and the author of several self-help books.
Orsborn describes a year in her life through entries much
like a diary. She is on the "wild side" of sixty when a job change
causes the couple to move from Los Angeles to New York. She left behind her
work, which was waning anyway, and found herself at loose ends and feeling very
old. At first she rages against the concept of "ageism" and loses her
spiritual footing. Then slowly, she finds herself becoming spiritually whole
again and ready to move on fiercely. She says that she is "surprisingly
re-energized about who I am becoming, and fiercely curious about what lies
ahead."
But becoming "fierce with age" doesn't come easily
to Orsborn, and apparently it is not coming easily to me. We see Orsborn's
progress through the year from a bout of self-pity to the moment when she rages
against God and comes to the spiritual understanding that while she is not about to
give up, she is at a new stage in her life's journey. And like most
women, she feels like she is on this journey on her own with very little
guidance.
The Publisher's Weekly reviewer suggests that this is not
"naval gazing" but a rich description of what most thoughtful women
of a certain age experience. Before her year is over, she has developed 11
spiritual truths of aging, some guiding principles that she wishes to convey to
others moving past middle age. I particularly like number five which says, "We
can dance with rather than struggle against the essence of who we are."
"But I now understood, not just intellectually nor even
just emotionally, but in the very depths of my mortal soul, that it was not
only my destiny but also everybody else's to die someday. I would not, could
not, make peace with aging until I had come to terms with the finitude of
existence, including the possibility of suffering and the guarantee of death,
none of which were likely to be on my own terms."
Nearly everything Orsborn struggled with resonated with me.
Last night my husband and I were discussing her book and we mentioned how
people--like servers or store clerks--now view us as old, when, in fact, we
forget that we look that way. It is always a shock to be treated with deference
to our age.
A year ago, I had the opportunity to work with a major
children's publisher on a large project, which lasted for four months. It was a
very exciting gig for me and extremely satisfying. At one point I mentioned to
the 30-something woman who was running the project that I hoped I was being
useful. "Oh." she said. "It is wonderful to have you in the group! You know the
backlist so well." meaning that I knew all the old books. A back-handed compliment if I ever heard one.
Carol Orsborn's website, aptly called "Fierce with
Age." http://fiercewithage.com/
The Publishers Weekly review: http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-62045-375-9
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