Mothers, Tell Your Daughters

by Bonnie Jo Campbell

W.W. Norton     2015
272 pages     Short Stories

In Bonnie Jo Campbell’s collection of short stores, Mothers, Tell Your Daughters, the difficulties of being a woman become quickly evident. Women are resilient, stubborn, and resourceful. Women are used, abused, and discarded. The fates of many lower middle class women rest in their relationship to the men in their lives. And mothers try to tell their daughters how it is going to be for them to become women in a hostile world.

No one writes better about challenged women than does Bonnie Jo Campbell. We were introduced to them in her first story collection, American Salvage. Although the characters are different, the themes remain. The first story that expresses the true nature of the mother-daughter relationship is called Tell Yourself, in which a mother with a young teenage daughter worries obsessively that her daughter may be too much of a flirt and consequently experience some of the abusive relationships that the mother experienced as a teenager. She  breaks up with her boyfriend rather than allow the possibility that he might be attracted to the girl. The girl, on the other hand, is appalled that her mother might suspect that she would be interested in an older man. “Of course, he is just one man of millions out there in the world, one of dozens of men who might take an interest in your daughter. . .” 

The title story, Mothers, Tell Your Daughters, expresses with sadness the complexity of the mother-daughter relationship. The mother in this story is dying of cancer, and her estranged daughter has come to be with her as she dies. No longer verbal, the mother muses about her life and how her daughter never understood the choices that she made in order to survive and to make sure that her children were raised. The daughter has become successful in life but is unable to give any credit to her mother or try to understand her mother’s life choices. The mother muses, “Someday, I hope, you’ll want to cut me down and gather me up in your arms, forgive me even if I can’t say I’m sorry.” 

Frankly, I admire some of the women that Campbell writes about—women who know exactly why they make the choices they make; women who make conscious decisions about survival; women who protect their children at all costs. At the same time, there is a terrible vulnerability in the women in the stories—women who have been abused, and who have so little but wish for so much. In one story, Someplace Warm, the mother seeks to make a safe place for her children but instead smothers them, and they rebel by leaving her.

Recently, the two women who work for me were able to get an apartment after many years in rooming houses and homeless shelters. The apartment isn’t much; just two rooms in a subsidized duplex, but their complete joy in having a place that is theirs is heartwarming. These women have cared for abusive spouses, slept in unlikely places, and fought mightily to raise three children together. I am so grateful that they are finally experiencing a bit of peace. These are the women of Campbell’s world. As a protagonist of one story says, “Our own home, a comfortable, well-lit place nobody can take away from us, where each of us has our own room and closet.”

Mothers, Tell Your Daughters is not a pleasant, warm read, but several of the stories are unforgettable. The summary paragraph of the Kirkus review reflects that the book is “a fine showcase for this talented writer’s ability to mingle penetrating character studies with quietly scathing depictions of hard pressed lives.”

Campbell is a local author. Mothers, Tell Your Daughters is the third book by her that I have read. The novel, Once Upon a River is based in Kalamazoo, and I was amused that so much of Kalamazoo shows up in Mothers, Tell your Daughters, including Campbell’s donkeys. I have followed Campbell on Facebook since our book club skyped with her when we read Once Upon a River. Check out her Facebook page and you will find her journey to this book and the guest readings connected with its release in October. I have included the advertisement for the book release party.

In addition to everything else I loved about the book, I was extremely attracted to the cover. 

The review on the Kirkus website. 

 

In a Dark Dark Wood

By Ruth Ware

Simon and Schuster     2015

320 pages     Mystery

In A Dark, Dark Wood with its ominous cover appeared on several “Best of Summer” reading lists early in June, but I decided to wait to read it until we went on our Alaskan cruise in August. So here I am, a few days after finishing it, and I can’t remember the murderer’s motive. That probably tells you a lot about the book right there. Although those people who loved the book would probably say that my brain is a bit addled from being on vacation, I have concluded that In a Dark, Dark Wood is probably a perfect, forgettable summer vacation read.

The setup for the novel is great! Leonora (Lee or Nora, depending on who is addressing her) has received an invitation for a “hen party” (we would say bachelorette party} for a friend, Clare, who she has not seen for ten years. Nora can't imagine why she has been invited, but another university friend is also invited, and so the two women decide to venture out to a glass vacation house deep in the Northumberland woods where the party is going to take place. Only a few invitees arrive for the weekend, and Nora feels very apprehensive about the arrival of Clare, the guest of honor, because Clare knows something about Nora that no one else attending knows. Is that why she was invited—so Clare can expose her?

The plot is very atmospheric. The house is eerie; the woods foreboding. The guests are all narcissistic, and the party hostess is crazy. Very Agatha Christie. Early on we know that there is going to be a murder; the scenes at the house are interspersed with scenes at the hospital where Nora is suffering from amnesia following some terrible something—we don’t know what. We also don’t know if she is the murderer or a victim. 

One telling moment in the plot setup occurs when Tom, a playwright and one of the guests, gazes out the glass wall at the woods and muses “The audience . . . the audience is out there.”  Aah, now I get it! We are the audience for an unfolding drama, and the people in the glass house are like the actors in a play. And this, friends, is the failing of the book. The characters in this drama are rather wooden, and forgettable.

That being said, I enjoyed In a Dark, Dark Woods on three levels—the setup, which I have already mentioned; the setting, which is very appropriately introduced; and the suspense which builds nicely. On the other hand, two of the plot devices are mechanistic—amnesia and lost love. Ware rather beats the reader over the head with the amnesia plot device, telling us again and again why Nora is suffering from amnesia. The other device I dislike for more personal reasons, and that is lamenting over lost love. I just don’t believe that a young woman could be still holding on to the memory of a teenage love affair, no matter how tragically it ended. Nora is too unbelievably damaged. Clare, on the other hand, may be the most believable—an actress who is always on stage. I have known some of them.

The reviewer in USA Today feels the same way I do about the book and its author. Ruth Ware is a first-time author full of potential, which can be seen in her deft use of mood and setting. One would hope that she could develop character and plot better in the next go around.

Well, dear readers, if you are on an Alaskan cruise and looking for something to read in between glaciers and mountains, all-you-can-eat buffets and wildlife sightings, I can recommend In a Dark, Dark Woods. Otherwise, pass this one up. Read The Girl on the Train—the amnesia is better.

The review in USA Today.

An interview with Ruth Ware on NPR.

Find Your Balance Point

by Brian Tracy and Christina Stein

Berrett-Koehler     2015

112 pages     Self Help

When I was a young woman, my husband and I were involved in a multi-level marketing business that we pursued for several years. While "building our business," we went to many motivational seminars with motivational speakers—the most famous being Zig Ziglar. My husband actually went to a one week seminar with Ziglar. I believe that the lessons we learned from those seminars have helped me throughout my life. Certainly, they helped our family surmount the loss of our husband and father. We had the inner strength. 

Find your Balance Point is a quick read and a quick journey through the power of planning and executing goals for achievement. Although the authors purport to want to help readers find "balance," the book is all about setting goals and believing you can achieve those goals. They only briefly touch on balance. Perhaps you goal is to find balance between home and work. The authors believe that this is possible. It would have been helpful if they had used more real-life examples to help the reader relate to the terms and the concepts.

The most practical advice offered concerns list making. They suggest that successful people make lists for the next day before they go to bed at night. That way, the list maker will subconsciously work on tasks all night. I'm not sure that will lead to a very good night's sleep. I find that I do my best thinking and planning in the early morning hours, just before rising; I solve lots of problems that way.

One of the most successful parts of the book for me was the lists of values that the authors ask the reader to rank in importance. The lists include character values, life values, and role and identity values. This was a good exercise for me because it helped me to identify those values that have guided my life. I will use those lists in classes that I teach.

I contrasted Find Your Balance Point with another book I read recently—Are You Fully Charged? by Tom Rath. Rath has a different take on motivation than do Tracy and Stein, but the results are the same. People are the most successful when they are doing work they love. These books make a great combination for people beginning their careers. Find Your Balance Point is simplistic—by design, I believe. It makes it a great gift for a new graduate or someone just starting on a career. 

Here are author bios from the publicist. It appears that they are a father-daughter duo. As you can see, the authors have extensive experience in motivational speaking and counseling. 

Brian Tracy is one of America's leading authorities on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. A dynamic and inspiring speaker, he addresses thousands of people each year on the subjects of personal and professional development, including the executives and staff of such firms as IBM, Arthur Andersen, McDonnell Douglas, and The Million Dollar Round Table. Prior to founding his own firm, Brian Tracy International, he had successful careers in sales and marketing, investments, real estate development, distribution, and management consulting. Tracy is the author of thirteen previous books including the bestselling book Maximum Achievement. He is also the author/narrator of numerous bestselling audio-cassette programs, including The Psychology of Achievement and How to Start and Succeed in Your Own Business.

Christina Tracy Stein graduated with a bachelor of arts in psychology from the University of Southern California and received her master's degree in clinical psychology from Antioch University. She has a Marriage and Family Therapist license from the Board of Behavior Sciences, is a member of both the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, and is a Certified Nutrition and Lifestyle Coach. She currently has a private practice in Santa Monica, California. Prior to beginning her private practice, Christina worked at the Maple Counseling Center in Beverly Hills, California, where she participated in the Intake and Assessment, Adult Counseling, and Group Programs. She has spent more than five thousand hours with individuals, couples, and groups doing assessments, psychotherapy, and personal counseling.

Here is Brian Tracy's website: http://www.briantracy.com

Among the Ten Thousand Things

by Julia Pierpont

Random House     2015

336 pages     Literary Fiction

I have been thinking a great deal about betrayal since I began reading Among the Ten Thousand Things. What constitutes betrayal? Can a person ever trust again after a betrayal? How do children recover from betrayal? Does the betrayer ever truly understand the ramifications of what he/she has done?  Julia Pierpont gives us a remarkable insight into betrayal and infidelity in a very honest, raw portrayal of a family in crisis. 

Jack, the husband of Deb and the father of Simon (15) and Kit (11) has an affair with a young woman—the beginnings of the betrayal. Deb discovers that he is having an affair but chooses to ignore it. When the affair ends, the young woman, feeling betrayed and abandoned, sends a package to Deb including all the miscellany of  the affair—emails, text messages, and online chats. (There is a lesson in this right off the bat.) The package is intercepted by daughter Kit, who thinks it is an early birthday present. Not quite understanding everything the package includes, she knows it is something salacious and wrong, so she gives it to her brother, Simon. Simon is so disgusted by what he reads that he passes it on immediately to his mother. Now, Deb, Jack, and the children must deal with the infidelity and ultimately, with the betrayal. Among the Ten Thousand Things explores how each family member, including Jack, responds to the letters, the betrayal, and the fallout.

We have much more sympathy for Simon and Kit than we do for the parents, although each parent tries in their own way to ease the pain for the children. Simon is more mature than one might expect, but he is also a typical teenager in his self-centeredness. Kit chooses to try to figure out the sexual context of the letters in the package by writing them into Seinfeld episodes—her favorite TV show. 

By following the paths taken by each of the characters, USA Today says "The shock of the new in Among the Ten Thousand Things comes less from its references to email and sitcoms than from its 28-year-old author's profound grasp of family dynamics, from her expert ventriloquism (her shifting between the various characters' voices and perspectives is distinct and assured), and from her structural boldness." One of the most striking portions of the book occurs right in a middle section in which the author tells us what is going to happen to the family in the years following the betrayal. It is an interesting place to put the first of two epilogues, but it causes the reader to truly ponder consequences. Some reviewers felt that the epilogue in the middle made the last half of the book extraneous, but I felt that it enhanced the drama.

Pierpont gives us a great insight into how individuals respond to family crisis.

I have witnessed several betrayals in my lifetime—some more debilitating than others. The truth that Pierpont expresses is that betrayal continues to color the life experience of all affected participants. Betrayal is something that just can't be glossed over or forgotten. The author speaks to this in the final epilogue of the book. Simon and Kit (now Katherine) are returning to their family apartment to gather up their childhood belongings. After lunch "Katherine paid the bill while Simon plucked dusty mints from the bowl by the register. When she pulled out her wallet, a strip of toilet paper flew out too. The mess of her bag was the first time Simon wondered if her life was not all the things she wanted it to seem." 

The review in USA Today.

The story of how Pierpont, a first time author, sold the manuscript. In Vogue.

Julia Pierpont's website.